Track26
by PhantomR
Summary: Shinji has too much caffeine and asukas...kinda lost it. PLEASE R&R! (i was once known as someonewashere so the storys are legal) CH. 8 up!
1. Default Chapter

Hey I was just bored and I was listening to some music and though "Why not?" Please review! I no own eva or songs   
  
"Repeat after me.  
  
People like me.  
  
I'm a good person.  
  
I do have talents and no one can take those away from me.  
  
People respect me.  
  
I am loved."  
  
Shinji sighed. He didn't know why but this always helped him relax, even if it was all just a lie. Track 26 was a confidence builder. Even if I didn't work he still liked it. He also thought the female voice was hot. The last line sometimes made him laugh, no one loved him, some MIGHT have cared but that was unlikely. He listened to the next part.  
  
"Again.  
  
BAKA! Why don't you get some real music?"  
  
Asuka? Her voice, coming from his headphones? How could she mess with his SDAT player?  
  
"Get your sorry butt into my room so you can hear REAL music!"  
  
What? Well he better get this over with. Knock knock  
  
The door flew open and a pair of arms grabbed Shinji and yanked him into Asuka's room. He was assaulted seconds later by Papa Roach's Last Resort blaring out of a radio at high volume.  
  
"Baka, this is real music!" the redhead screamed over the noise. After that the radio belted out Matalica's Master of Puppets, during which Asuka head banged, causing Shinji to stare. This was followed by a bout of Rammstein, one of Asuka's favorite German bands. (sorry for the screw up ererybody!)  
  
Shinji felt something stir in him. Could he actually like this...this stuff? Just then Linkin Park's Don't Stay came on and Shinji found himself bobbing his head to the tune. What was happening to him? There was a knock at the front door as Evanescence Going Under came on.  
  
"Hello?" he said to a tall boy he had never seen before that looked about his age.  
  
"Hey man a party?" he raised up his hand.  
  
Shinji raised his hand to the boy's; he had seen Toji and Kensuke do this before. They clasped hands and bumped shoulders. He had always wondered what it was about.  
  
"Alright! Come on girls." Several girls from school followed him in.  
  
"Shinji this just became a party!" Asuka yelled as she moved it to the good radio in the living room. "Call some friends and move the couch! Misato is working all night!" Disturbed Liberate came on.  
  
The couch was pushed against the back wall Asuka called some of her friends, i.e. A LOT of people Shinji had never heard of before. Shinji called Toji up.  
  
"Hey?"  
  
"Hello, Toji?"  
  
"Hey, Shin-man! Hey Ken its Shinji! What's up?"  
  
"Hey Shinji! Order some pizzas this party needs munchies!" Asuka yelled.  
  
"Cool! A party, me 'n Ken 'll come right over!" hangs up "Ken! Shinji's throwing a party, lets go!"  
  
"Ok Asuka." Shinji still wasn't sure about this. Shinji called the pizza place and looked around. "Hello? I'll take 9 extra large pepperoni pizzas. ... Yeah it's a party. ... Ok thanks." Better play it safe, go big.  
  
After that people just started to show up. People Shinji had never seen and he doubted that Asuka could have invited all of them. You know, he though, this could be...cool. He got Misato's old strobe lights out of a closet.  
  
After the pizzas came, Asuka insisted Misato wouldn't notice 5500 yen was missing from her purse, a yell was heard from the kitchen "My god look at all the beer!"  
  
"Alright! Now this party really gets started!" yelled the original guy.  
  
Well maybe one beer wouldn't hurt, Shinji thought as he grabbed some pizza.  
  
The next morning  
  
Misato walked in the front door "Hey ki-" she stopped dead in her tracks. Bodies were everywhere. It looked like a mass suicide; she knelt next to the nearest kid, "Hey this is Ken-what's-his-name, Shinji's friend!" A pulse. He was still breathing. Good... wait, there where beer cans everywhere. "So Shinji and Asuka finally threw a party. About god damn time! Speaking of which, were are they?" she scanned the room; they weren't there. She checked Shinji's room and what she saw made her smile evilly. There lay a topless Asuka on top of an equally topless Shinji. "Well at least they kept their pants on. I need a beer." She looked in the fridge "Hey they saved me one! OOO Pizza!" Just like college, she thought.  
  
There you have it. I know it doesn't really have a plot or anything, but I was board. Please review! 


	2. the mourning after

I don't own jack, and have no money so please don't get lawyers involved.  
  
Please review cause that's what keeps stories alive!  
  
Asuka slowly regained consciousness. Her head was a dull pain, where was she again? O yeah, the apartment. Whatever she was laying on was nice and warm, so she snuggled closer. Her vision started to clear. O it was Shinji. He was cute while asleep and not whining.  
  
She was leaning toured him to kiss him when he started to wake up, but she didn't notice. Once their lips touched Shinji was startled into wakefulness. Asuka sprang back in surprise. 'Quick' she thought 'what would the sober Asuka do?' the resulting smack caused Shinji to fly back 3 meters. "Baka! Where is your shirt?! Why am I half naked?! Dumkopf! Hentai!" she grabbed Shinji's blanket in order to make herself decent.  
  
"Gomen!" Shinji said still not fully awake. 'What the hell did I do this time?' he thought.  
  
"Not so loud!" came a groan from the living room. "Shut up!" was the reply from the same room.  
  
"What, who else is here?" Asuka thought out loud. At that point her head decided throb in its own protest to the beer from last night. 'Ug, maybe that eighth beer was a bad idea." She thought. She grabbed her shirt and put it on, she walked into the living room to see the bodies of all the teens at the party last night. The party! It was morning and Misato would be home!  
  
"So you finally had one eh! Good for you two! So what was that." Misato said pointing at Shinji's room.  
  
"Baka got me drunk and tried to rape me!"  
  
"Huh? Is the party over?" a guy in the corner stood up. "Ok people I'll be the designated driver for the evening... er ... mourning so all of you sober enough to tell me were you live and were others here live please stand up! Its free of charge." Several people stood up. "Ok I'll take you in groups of six."  
  
"Who the hell are you?" Misato asked  
  
"The only completely sober person here." He began to usher people out of the apartment.  
  
After he was finished getting people out of the apartment Shinji stumbled into the room. "I was not going to rape you! The whole bed thing was you! You're the one who dragged me into the room! And you pushed the last four beers on me!"  
  
"How many did you have?" Misato was interested.  
  
"Six." Shinji popped some pain pills.  
  
"Only?" Misato was disappointed.  
  
"That's not the point. He was like "is this ok, what about this? Here have another beer." and kept touching and I passed out!" Asuka accused.  
  
"I did not!" passes pain hills to Misato who in turn passes them to Asuka. "She was drunk long before me! Her exact words were, and I quote! "Here have another Shinji!" she said to me "lets go to your room" so I did and next thing I know she's hitting me and I have a hangover!"  
  
"Pizza, beer, hangovers and a conspiracy! What a night!" the first guy at the party said as he fell out of the closet.  
  
Ok there it is. I know it isn't as good as the first one, but you know how hard it is to think?!? Well anyway please review. Well what do you people want from this story? Please tell me were you want this to go! I NEED IDEAS!!!  
  
ACGS: SHE WAS AT WORK, when was the last time Misato took her purse to work? (come on man! They needed money for the pizzas!) 


	3. the arcade

I don't own anything. Especially not Eva.  
  
Sorry it has taken me so long to update, but school has come forth from the abyss of evil and has grabbed me, and is dragging me into the burning pits of hell and imprisonment. Well now enough of that, read on and please review!  
  
"I'm bored," Asuka whined as she flipped through the cable channels. "There's nothing to do."  
  
Shinji stood up and went to the bathroom. "Were do we keep the mouthwash?"  
  
"No, you Baka! Like I'm ever going to do THAT again! I was thinking..."  
  
A look of disappointment ran across Shinji's face, but he hid it before walking into the living room. "Thinking what Asuka?"  
  
"About maybe going to the mall. We have some money."  
  
After the "party incident" Misato started to give the children an allowance "You're not stealing from my purse again!"  
  
"I told you she would notice."  
  
"Shut up Baka!"  
  
"You know Asuka, they have a really good arcade at the mall. Me, Toji, and Kensuke go there sometimes. And there is some good stores too!" Shinji said as he saw an evil look creep onto Asuka's face.  
  
"A new chance to show I'm better then you? Sure!" Asuka got up from the couch and put on her jacket "Lets go!"  
  
"Just a sec, I gonna write Misato a note... to tell her where we are."  
  
"Well DUH! What else would you write her a note for? Well hurry up!"  
  
"OK OK!" he wrote, "Misato, we are at the mall. We'll be back around..." he checked his watch. It was 10. "5 or 6ish. We have our phones. Call if you need us." He stuck it to the beer can nearest the fridge door, where he was sure it would be found.  
  
"Come on! Hurry up, Baka!"  
  
"I'm coming, I'm coming. Alright, lets go."  
  
"Good, their gone," thought a figure in the shadows of the building. "Now's my chance."  
  
THE MALL  
  
"Asuka! Just a sec! I wanna get something here!" Shinji told Asuka in front of Koga's Music and Sound. "Wait here a second." He returned a few minutes later carrying a sack.  
  
"What ya get?" Asuka leaned forward to see, exposing the upper part of her breasts.  
  
"Uh, ah nothing! Just a few new downloads for my new MP3 player!" (Had to get him one, I didn't know what a SDAT was.) He was trying with every once of will power not to look at her chest, but failing.  
  
"Stop looking at my boobs! Hentai!" Asuka giggled as she cuffed him upside the head and took the bag. "Lets see, Heavy Rock Series? I approve." She grinned and nodded her head "Now where is this great arcade you were talking about? I wanna play!" she spun around to face Shinji with her arms behind her back and was rocking back and forth on the balls of her feet. "Let's go!"  
  
"Al...alright. Th...this way!" Shinji was still dazed by the fact that Asuka hadn't smacked him into next week; it had been quite gentle, compared to his usual beating from Asuak. What had gotten into her? "It's over here."  
  
"O, and if you look at them again, I'll take your head off!" Asuka grinned as she turned around.  
  
Shinji's head snapped up and his back when stiff, that's exactly where his eyes where about to roam again. Well, at least that was more like Asuka, and from here... she did have a nice ass. (OOO, Shinji is pretty vulgar up there in his head, isn't he?)  
  
"That includes my butt too, you Hentai!"  
  
Shinji's eyes shot forward. "I...I'm not! Wait here we are!" they stopped in front of the Tokyo 3 Mega Arcade. The sound of games being played and the normal flashing of lights greeted them as they stepped inside.  
  
Asuka ran off giggling like a Japanese schoolgirl. (Well I guess that technically she IS a Japanese school girl...but that's not the point! When was the last time you heard Asuka giggle?!?) "Shinji! I'm going to go get the high score for every fighting game I can! Bye!"  
  
"Sigh well I guess Asuka WOULD get excited about something like that. Hey! It's the new Graveyard Hunters game! Cool, this one uses a combat shotgun...and it's so realistic too, Kensuke would love this!" Shinji popped the necessary coins in the machine and began playing. "Nice rock soundtrack too."  
  
30 MINUTES LATER  
  
Asuka was looking for Shinji, she had just crushed the arcade's reining champion of Soul Caliber 5, (It IS the future!) and she wanted to brag to him. O, there was the Baka. What was he playing? A zombie killing game. He was handling the shotgun pretty well... he did have firing training with the Eva so it was to be expected, but still. "Hey, Shinji!"  
  
That one's father, that one's father, and that one's father too! Shinji thought as he blew the heads off zombie after zombie. (I'm sensing anger from Shinji towards his father. Anyone else feel that?) "Huh? What? O, Asuka!" he said looking up.  
  
"YAAAAAAAAH! Game over!" Came from the game. "High score!"  
  
"Hey Baka! HUH, look!" Asuka pointed behind Shinji.  
  
"What?" Shinji spun around thinking there was danger.  
  
"It's, it's, IT'S DANCE DANCE REVOLUTION! Lets go!" she grabbed Shinji and began dragging him to the game. (Remember, it's after Second Impact, games like DDR probably aren't as common as they are now.)  
  
Now because of their training they went through when the angel that kept splitting apart came (what number was that? Anyway think of the pad that they trained on.) they dominated the game. A crowd gathered as the music got faster and faster. "WOW! Their on the hardest difficulty!" Someone in the crowd said. "AND the hardest song too!" "Is there no stopping them?!?"  
  
"Woo! That was fun, huh Shinji?" Asuka asked as she stepped off the machine, it had run out of things to throw at them. "And the High Score too!" They had completely decimated the old one.  
  
Shinji was breathing slightly heavy, but grinning ear to ear. "Yeah Asuka great!"  
  
Asuka's stomach growled loudly at that point. A large sweat drop proceeded the noise.  
  
"Hungry? Want to get pizza?" Shinji was holding back a laugh.  
  
"Well DUH! Of course I do!" Asuka was a bit angry.  
  
"Come on." They went to the pizza place across from the arcade. (strategic positioning or what?) After they ate Shinji smiled at Asuka. "Better?"  
  
"Much, Dumkopf. Now... we went were you wanted to," an evil grin that made Shinji gulp. "so it's my turn!"  
  
...  
  
How could one girl try on so many clothes?!? Shinji thought outside of the changing rooms. He looked at his watch. "O, CRAP! Asuka its 5:30! I told Misato we would be back at 6!"  
  
"So?" Asuka was looking at herself in the full-length mirror.  
  
"You want Section 2 to drag us to father?"  
  
"Huh, I guess your right." She changed into her normal clothes. "Here make yourself useful and carry these!" she handed him a pile of clothes.  
  
"How are you going to pay for these? Misato didn't give us THAT much money." Shinji could barely see over the clothes.  
  
"O, I have my ways." She pulled one of Misato's credit cards from her pocket. (does Asuka even have a purse?)  
  
"Well let's hurry up, OK?"  
  
THE APARTMENT  
  
Shinji and Asuka step into the apartment only to find the kid from the party sitting cross-legged and handcuffed on the living room floor.  
  
"O thank god! Hey man, can you tell Sadistic Psycho Lady and Birdboy over there to uncuff me?"  
  
WELL WAS THAT LONG ENOUGH FOR YOU?!? Anyway, please review, send ideas, that kind of thing.  
  
Andross937: Good ideas! I'll try to incorporate some of them! But Rei's place is a bit small.  
  
O, by the way... ACGS and I know each other pretty well. So he's excused for being a jerk. 


	4. the picture

It has come to my attention that it's been a very long time since I've updated. Well blame school!  
  
Anyway I don't own Eva, if I did you all would be my lapdogs!!! HAHAHA!! Hey, if Anno made a fanfic, would he need a disclaimer? It would probably be the darkest fic ever. Well enough of my rambling, READ AND REVIEW!  
  
"Means spoken, duh"  
  
'Means thought, duh.'  
  
WARNING: I'm rating this chapter PG-13 due to some language and a very um. . . strange seen. Also beware that this chapter will focus mainly on the zainy crazy side of the fic! May cause lung cancer.  
  
Pen-pen was looking at the picture again. 'You know for a human that Asuka chick is fine. I guess Shinji is cute too, if I swung that way.' The penguin reminded himself. 'Well time to give it up.' The penguin spared one more glance at the picture of the topless Asuka on the topless Shinji. 'It was brilliant for me to take this! Oh well.'  
  
The penguin waddled up to Misato and handed her the picture. "Pen-pen I love you so much, I'll have Shinji buy you a whole box of salmon!"  
  
"Wark?"  
  
"Of course they sell boxes of salmon! I've seen them at the fish market! Now I think I'm going to pay Shinji a little visit!" Misato walked happily towards Shinji's room.  
  
Shinji was strapped naked and gagged over a wooden beam. Asuka walked up in a skimpy, tight leather outfit with knee high boots (DOMINATRIX AAAAHH!) and a whip very much like the kind jockeys use at hoarse races. She leaned forward exposing much of her cleavage and raised his head with the whip.  
  
"You've been a very bad boy Shinji," CRACK went the whip across Shinji's face. "Now it's time for you punishment." The redhead said as she walked behind him.  
  
"SHINJI!!"  
  
The said boy bolted upright in his bed "I'm sorry. I'm sorry. Gomen. Asuka don't spank me again!"  
  
"Ok, I'll file that away and use it against you later. Are you alright?"  
  
"Misato?" Shinji asked as he rubbed sleep from his eyes. "Wait just a sec." Shinji pulled a pen and notebook out of his nightstand. Dear diary, I had Asuka dream number 12 again, but was awaken before I could get to the good part. Shinji wrote. "What do you need Misato?"  
  
"Well I was wondering if you could get me some. . ." Misato walked up to Shinji and whispered something in his ear.  
  
"WHAT?!? Misato I'm not going to get those um. . . feminine hygiene products!"  
  
"Well then I guess this picture will find its way onto the NERV Website..." Misato pulled the picture out of her pocket.  
  
"Wow I didn't know Kaji could do THAT!"  
  
"What? OOPS! Wrong picture. I meant THIS picture!"  
  
"Cool, I didn't know that Pen-pen could do that either."  
  
"WHAT?!?" She looked at the picture. It was of Pen-pen wearing a purple cowboy hat and riding a mechanical bull. "I was wondering what happened to that one." She stuck it back in her pocket and pulled another picture and looked to make sure it was the right one. "What about THIS picture?"  
  
Shinji went pale "You wouldn't dare. . ."  
  
"Oh yes I would!" Misato was grinning like it was Christmas come early. 'Ooh this is going to be good!' "Oh and here's a coupon book! ASUKA!" Misato walked out of the room with Shinji fallowing her slumped over with defeat.  
  
"Ja? I'm brushing my hair right now." 'Ninety-nine, one hundred.'  
  
"Would you mind scrubbing the floors today?"  
  
"WHAT? No way, get baka to do it!"  
  
"Well Shinji's going to be busy today and I thought you would like too, oh and would you look at this before you answer?" Misato wondered it she just singed her own death sentence with this. 'Oh well!' She shrugged it off and showed Asuka the picture.  
  
"MEIN GOT! WHO THE HELL TOOK THIS!!!" Asuka made a lunge for the picture. "I'll kill Kensuke for this!"  
  
"It wasn't Kensuke, it was a little birdie!" Misato said happily.  
  
'Holy Crap!!! Is this woman trying to kill me?' Pen-pen ran to his fridge,  
  
"What the hell are you talking about Misato?" Asuka tried anther lunge.  
  
"You're not getting it that easily!" Misato cackled with mirth as she held the picture up high.  
  
"MM. MMMM. MMMM." THUD THUD. Came from the hall closet.  
  
"You know it's been three days since we locked him in the there. . . maybe we should let him out?" asked Misato. "Shinji go open the door."  
  
Shinji walked up to the door and opened it. out fell the bound and gagged for of, you guessed it, that party guy. "MM. MMM."  
  
"Now you're going to answer a few question when I cut the ropes."  
  
"Misato were did you get that knife?" Shinji was terrified, if Asuka got a hold of that. . .  
  
"Standard NERV issued." Misato bent down and cut the ropes and untied the gag. "Now who are you and what the hell are you doing in our home?"  
  
GASP "Thank you. Name's Mark. Now can I get something to eat? Those small meals were good but there was barely anything on the plate."  
  
"HEY! I gave you as much as anyone else!" Shinji said defensively.  
  
"That's not the point! What the hell were you doing in our house?" Asuka was angry.  
  
"That's a very good question," Mark rubbed his wrists in an attempt to restore circulation. "one that probably deserves a very good answer." His brow furrowed in deep though. "I'll tell you when I think of one."  
  
"That's it smartass! I'm throwing you ass out!" Asuka grabbed his left foot and turned to throw him out of the apartment.  
  
"O MY GOD! ASUKA, YOU RIPPED HIS FOOT OFF!" Misato screamed as Shinji passed out. (like a little girl!)  
  
"No, no its ok. I lost my foot in a car accident when I was 8. that's a fake foot. Um. . . can I have that back please? Thank you." Mark removed his foot from Asuka's stunned hand and reattached it. "I'll just be going now. . . Wait!" He ran to the closet and picked up a plastic bag. "can't leave this, can't be my normal self is I don't smoke this." He walked out of the apartment and the sound of a lighter being lit was heard.  
  
Well how did you like it. School is sapping my creative juices (along with my medications) so I apologize if it sucked! REVIEW! And I'm open to ideas and suggestions! Thanks for reading! 


	5. in the kitchen with asuka

GOMEN! Sorry for taking so long to update! Well I'll stop apologizing now in fear of sounding like Shinji.  
  
As usual I DON'T OWN JACK SQUAT AND THAT INCLUDES EVA! Don't sue. . . you wont get a dime.  
  
READ AND REVIEW!  
  
'Means thought'  
  
"Means spoken"   
  
Misato just stepped in the front door when she heard Shinji and Asuka talking in the kitchen. 'Are they fighting again?'  
  
"Whoa Shinji! You don't whip that out in front of a girl without at least warning her! You want to give me a heart attack?!?"  
  
"Sorry Asuka, I thought you might have liked it."  
  
"I've seen bigger."  
  
"You mean?... "  
  
"O no! Don't get me wrong! That is pretty big."  
  
"Thank you Asuka."  
  
"No I mean that IS big... I've just seen bigger."  
  
"Want to lick it?"  
  
"WHAT?!?"  
  
"Why not? Misato isn't home, and no one will ever know."  
  
"ARE YOU CRAZY?!? I would never lick that!"  
  
"Please? Maybe just suck it a little?"  
  
"Well it IS big... and I do like the cream..."  
  
"Come on Asuka... you know you want to!"  
  
"Ok Shinji I'll. I'll lick it."  
  
At this Misato burst into the kitchen to find-  
  
"WHAT THE HELL? THOSE ARE MY ICE CREAM BARS!!!"  
  
Sorry! I know it's not an original idea but I always get a kick out of this kind of things.  
  
PERVERT!!! You thought they were going to do nasty things!  
  
As always, REVIEW! It's all us authors have to live for!  
  
Apparently you guys don't like this. OR YOU WOULD REVIEW! 


	6. dreams

Its midnight 30 so I thought "what the heck? It's spring break so why not?"  
  
I don't own ANYTHING! And please, as always READ AND REVIEW! Now lets see... um... I'm literally making this up as I go. Sorry.  
  
"Speech"  
  
'Thought'  
  
"In other news, the American colonies in the Middle East demand their Pre- Impact status of the countries of Afghanistan, Iraq, and Saudi Arabia-" (Sorry if this offends anyone, tell me and I'll remove it) Misato switched of the news. 'I wonder what those two are up to? Been awful quiet around here lately...' Misato walked into the kitchen to grab a beer when Pen-Pen walked up to her with a cloth over one fin like a waiter.  
  
"Wark? Wark, wark."  
  
"Oh! Lets see... I'll have the soufflé and a beer please." Misato said as she sat down and looked at the menu.  
  
"Wark." Pen-Pen said as he bowed and walked off. "Wark!"  
  
"Yes sir!" Shinji said in the kitchen and started cooking immediately.  
  
"Wait a minute! This is that fancy new restaurant!" Misato said as her tank top and cutoffs suddenly turned into a ball dress.  
  
"May I have this dance?"  
  
"OH KAJI! Thanks for taking me here!" Misato said to the tuxedo-clad spy. They began to dance as Asuka played the violin on the platform at one end of the ballroom.  
  
Suddenly the glass overhead shattered and men in black repelled from the ceiling. Misato drew her gun from the sexy leg holster under her dress and began to fire. Kaji pulled a gun from a shoulder holster and began to also fire. The bass player (Sub-Commander I-can't-spell-his-name) pulled an Uzi from his instrument case and began to fire at the black suited men. Kaji, having run out of ammo, began to fight them hand-to-hand jujitsu style... and this is the place that Misato woke up.  
  
"Damn cold medicine... giving me funny dreams..." (I've met people that cold medicine actually did this to them) She shook it off and went back to sleep.  
  
Asuka's room  
  
Asuka was sitting on a golden throne adorned with jewels and silver. Her beauty and wealth rivaled that of Cleopatra herself! As matter of fact, her armies where on the move to attack Cleo's as she sat there.  
  
"Slave-boy! I wish for cool grapes." She said to her slave. (Which happened to be everyone's favorite spineless incompetent wimp.)  
  
"Yes your highness!" Shinji said as he bowed and went to fetch his queen (and secret lover) her grapes.  
  
"Your highness, general Katsaragi is here."  
  
"Send her in."  
  
"Your highness!" Misato clasped her fist to her chest and bowed. "Your forces are ready to attack at your order!"  
  
Asuka's eyes burned with inner fire. "Tell the troops that they will drink the blood of our enemies TONIGHT!"  
  
"YES MA'AM!" Misato bowed and left.  
  
"Your grapes my liege."  
  
"Slave... you will attend to me tonight." Asuka grinned.  
  
"My pleasure." Shinji also grinned.  
  
Asuka rolled over in her sleep and smiled.  
  
Shinji's room  
  
(Warning! This may get a little lemony in a sec, I honestly don't know myself.)  
  
Shinji was holding the paddle in both hands.  
  
"AGAIN! Spank my again Shinji!" the butt-naked Asuka said as she leaned over the bed. Shinji grinned as he began to rub Asuka's rear end.  
  
'AHHHH' Shinji thought 'good old Asuka dream number 5...'  
  
You asked for more Asuka dreams and I guess here's one of them. PLEASE READ AND REVIEW!!!! I'm still open to suggestions. And I MIGHT be updating soon... I do have a week off of school so maybe...  
  
WOW! Did I really do this in 45 minutes? Well I'm starting to think about going to bed soon.  
  
Until Next Time faithful reader. 


	7. new student

I'm sooooo sorry! Has it really been over a month since updating?!? GOMEN GOMEN GOMEN! (In fear of sounding like Shinji, I'll stop now.) I... I have no excuse other then I'm lazy. Throw rocks if you must. bows head  
  
I own nothing! Not even this computer I'm using! PLEASE REVIEW!  
  
"Is spoken"  
  
'Is thought'  
  
"You're home late Misato." Shinji looked up from the dinner he was making. "What's wrong with Asuka?" she had big swirly eyes.  
  
"Sorry about being late Shinji, but some guy stumbled into the road and I had to go back the NERV and fill out some insurance papers." Asuka was spinning around behind Misato.  
  
"YOU HIT SOMEONE WITH YOUR CAR?!?" Shinji knew he shouldn't be shocked, it was bound to happen sooner or later.  
  
"He flew and did cartwheels in the sky!" the disorientated redhead said. She shook her head. "He looked familiar too. So what's for dinner?"  
  
"Beef stew."  
  
"I love beef stew! Thank you Shinji!" Asuka trotted off to the bathroom.  
  
"Did you slam on the breaks hard and did she hit her head?" Shinji said puzzled.  
  
"No, I didn't even touch the breaks... she has been acting funny for a while huh?"  
  
"Yeah"  
  
the next day at school  
  
"Well class, we had a new student today but he decided not to show up."  
  
The door to the class opens and in hobbled a boy with an arm and a leg in casts. The people in the front row noticed that his eyes were bloodshot and he smelled like smoke, but a strange smoke.  
  
"Sorry dude. Some crazy chick in a blue car ran me over yesterday... well I went over the car. Totally killed my left foot too. Smashed it to pieces." He held out the stump of his left foot. "No worries though, foots been gone for ages."  
  
Asuka stood up and slammed her hands on her desk. "NO WAY! WE HIT YOU?!?" everyone in the class could hear her anger.  
  
"HEY! It's you peoples! Crazy Red and Shinji! How are you guys? I'm the new student from America! For all you other guyses the name's Mark. So teach, were do I sit?" 'So it was them that hit me... I thought the passenger was familiar." Everyone got the first good look at him, he was tall and had dark brown hair and eyes. Well he would if is eyes weren't so red.  
  
(That's right! It's Mark!)  
  
"Over there." The teacher pointed at an empty desk.  
  
"Cool." After about five minutes Shinji got a message.  
  
Grassgrower420: Is The Man always like this?  
  
Bakaman: What?  
  
Grassgrower420: Does he always drone?  
  
Redhead360: Shinji, you shouldn't talk to druggies!  
  
Tankerdude: Who's the druggie?  
  
B-baller: yeah, who's the druggie?  
  
Readhead360: would you bakas SHUT UP?!?  
  
Flyer: please stop the fighting.  
  
Strongsilenttype: I believe they are referring to the new student.  
  
B-baller: NO WAY! He's a druggie?  
  
Tankerdude: You think its speed or crack?  
  
Grassgrower420: Ummm, I'm still here you know.  
  
Redhead360: LOOK AT HIS SCREEN NAME!!!! He smokes pot!  
  
Bakaman: cant we all just get along?  
  
Flyer: I can't stand the fighting.  
  
Grassgrower420: Mary Jane's my friend.  
  
B-baller: Who's Mary Jane? Is she hot?  
  
Strongsilenttype: I believe it's a slang term for Marijuana.  
  
Brownauthority: ALL OF YOU PAY ATTENTION! THIS CONVERSATION HAS NOTHING TO DO WITH CLASS!  
  
Grassgrower420: Chill.  
  
Brownauthority: Get to work or I'll report you!  
  
PLEASE REVIEW!!! And I'm still open to suggestions!  
  
I know it's insanely easy, but the first person to correctly identify all the people gets an imaginary cookie. 


	8. sugar high

Ok here's my position, its 5AM, I haven't slept in over 23 hours, I haven't talked to a fellow human in 15 hours, I'm sitting in the dark, listening to hard rock, and I'm eating Cool Whip from the bucket. I wonder what will happen?  
  
Disclaimer: I own NOTHING! Not Eva not Cool Whip, NOTHING!  
  
"AWWWW MAN! Out of Cool Whip!" Shinji whined. (LIKE ALWAYS! So annoying!)  
  
"Wark." Said a very sleep deprived penguin. "Wark wark wark. Wark?"  
  
Asuka was slowly rocking back and forth staring at the computer monitor. "Day 26: We've run out of food. The supply convoy, a.k.a Misato, was ambushed, and couldn't reach us. The evil Gendo Empire is trying to starve us out. The only sanity we have left are the Manson CDs I have playing right now."  
  
"OOOOK Asuka, no more caffeine gum for you, and I'll take the Mountain Dew too." (They actually have caffeine gum too.) Shinji cautiously took the pack of Jolt and Mountain Dew. 'Wonder how this stuff tastes?' Shinji proceeded to chug the whole liter bottle. (I've done that... it's not pretty)  
  
"WARK! WARK! WARK!" Pen-Pen tossed Shinji some energy bars, candy, and a Red Bull to Shinji. "WARK! WARK! WARK!"  
  
Shinji devoured the candy and guzzled the Red Bull. "HEY THIS ISPRETTYGOOD! HAHAHAHA!" Shinji began to twitch.  
  
"Wark wark wark." Hmmmmm... I need to get more stuff for this guy to chug!  
  
"Day 30, I feel that first mate Shinji has lost it. I am beginning to fear for the life's' of all the crew... DAMN IT MISATO WHERE ARE YOU?!?"  
  
NERV  
  
"I hope the kids will be ok."  
  
"I'm sure they're fine Misato" Ritsoko assured her friend. "You've only been gone a few hours."  
  
"15 hours is hardly a few." Misato's eyes narrowed.  
  
Home  
  
"WARK!" MY GOSH! THREE MOUNTAIN DEWS, TWO POTS OF COFFEE, AND THAT GUM! This boy is amazing!"  
  
"YEAHPEN-PENYOU'DTHINKI'DHAVEOVERLOADEDBYNOW!!!" Shinji couldn't stand still.  
  
"WARK?!"  
  
"OHH!YOUWANNASTARTSOMETHINBUDDY? BRINGITON!" Shinji lunged at Pen-Pen  
  
"Day 48: I'm the only one left... all gone... all gone! Wait! The duck is coming! Run!!!"  
  
A Few Hours Later  
  
Hey kids, I got dinner!" Misato looked around the house. 'Were is everybody?' She heard a whimpering from the closet. "Asuka? Asuka!"  
  
Asuka was huddled the closet. "ANOTHER HUMAN!" she jumped and hugs Misato. "AND FOOD TOO!"  
  
"GRRRRRRRRR!"  
  
"What the?" Misato walked in the kitchen and saw Shinji on top of the fridge growling at Pen-Pen.  
  
"The fridge door is stuck again, isn't it?"  
  
Sorry about it sucking so much. I'm kind of depressed, I found out I'm moving at the end of the month. Well this'll probably be the last update in a while. I'm going to my dad's house for the summer and I don't know if I'll update. Please R&R and I'm OPEN TO SUGGESTIONS! 


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